Everyone has a breaking point
by mIsS sHoWjUmPeR
Summary: Darry's always been there for everyone else, always taken on the leadership role. Will he ever be able to be himself again...and what will it take to get everyone else to realize he too needs a break?
1. Default Chapter

Ch.1

**yay..another one of my crazy stories....**

It's kinda weird when people say all good things come to and end because its really true. Unfortunate but true. Life for me wasn't much different than it had always been school, hanging out at the movies with the gang on Friday nights. An occasional run in with the Socs. It was just normal everyday life. Johnny and I would sometimes joke about how our lives were almost mechanical, always the same thing week after week. We would wonder what would break us out of this and how big the event would be. Dally always told us to stop being so "philosopher-like" and come out into reality. But neither of us ever really listened. The first reason was because any bit of advice from Dallas Winston probably isn't worth listening to, and even if it was, we didn't really care to. Everyone was the same, not changing. Two-bit was his normal goofy self, always being a klutz or a clown to get attention. And no his obsession with Mickey Mouse hadn't changed either. He was still the same blonde loving, wise cracking, lazy guy he always was.

Soda was the same too. Always cheerful, with a nice thing to say to anyone. Always ready fo a game of football no matter how tired he was from work. Dally, well he was still angry at the world and hated anything not his way. But his love for Johnny had increased. He would turn on someone in a second but not Johnny. He would always have something, like an extra pack of cigarettes, to give him. Even though he didn't like to show it, you could tell Johnny was his favorite, almost like a little brother. Steve was as obnoxious and arrogant as ever. And Soda liked him as much as he ever did. Steve still had some disdain for me even though I was almost fifteen. Johnny, well he_ still_ reminded me of that lost puppy but there was something else there. He was less...scared. He spent less and less time at his home and more and more at mine. Not that I minded. Johnny and I had become closer than ever. I don't know why but we shared a same outlook or something on life and knew how hard it was to go it alone.

Last but not least came Darry. While the rest of us were stuck in some kinda of non changing stage, he was the one changing. He was never very talkative, being the mature one in the bunch, but now he almost never said anything. He worked harder than ever, and had lost a ton of weight. He wasn't nearly as strong as he used to be either. It scared me sometimes to look at him. I couldn't figure it out and neither could Soda. He would try his hardest to cheer Darry up but the most he could ever get out of him was a dry grin that seemed so forced that it hurt to look at him. His ice blue eyes that were hard with determination were now dull and lifeless. It really scared me. I tried even harder in school to try to please him, but he barely noticed. He was so...isolated and it really frightened me. He was always there for me so why couldn't I be there for him now? Why wouldn't he let me? Or anyone else for that matter.

I will never forget today after school. I will never take Darry for granted ever again. Ever. I walked in the door. Now, I was used to coming home to an empty house. Johnny usually came home with me as he did today. And we found Darry. We walked in the door and instead of a usually silent, house. There was some strange almost whimpering noise coming from his room. I slowly walked toward the closed door with Johnny on my heels. I silently opened the door and I almost fell backwards onto Johnny. Darry sat on his bed crying. Just sitting there, bawling his eyes out like a baby. He hadn't noticed Johnny and I at the door. Johnny looked at me with large, questioning eyes. He looked ready to leave. But I wasn't ready to handle this alone. I glared at him and he stayed put. "Darry?" I almost whispered. This I had never seen him like this before. Actually, come to think of it I have never seen Darry cry. Even at out parents funeral he never cried. But then why was he now when nothing had happened? He slowly looked up at me and buried his face in his arms, sobbing. "Darry!" I flew to his side and put my arm on his shoulder. "Darry, whatsa matter?" I asked him shakily. I was really getting frightened. I looked up at Johnny who was standing above me. He shrugged but looked ready to cry himself. I tugged on Darry's arm again. He slowly lifted his head and rested it on my shoulder. I hugged him and we stayed like that for a while. Johnny just stood and stared. "You ok Darry?" he asked when Darry finally got a hold of himself. Darry nodded not looking at either of us. "What was that all about?" I gently prodded. "It ain't too often that Darrel Curtis breaks down like that, you know." he took a deep breath. "It's just that it seems like their just ain't no point anymore Pony. I ain't anything special. Just another greaser deprived of his dreams." It was my turn to stare at him and suddenly remembered some one telling me how Soda and I were the only one's keeping Darry from being a Soc.

"But it ain't that really," he started again, utterly forgetting Johnny was there. "It's just I ain't go nobody. You got Johnny and Soda's got Steve and who do I got? All I ever do is work and after that there ain't no time to do anything else. I never had a girl. Ain't never had any close friends. You know that Pony? I ain't never had any of the things that any normal punk my age would have. And I just hate it. To see how Soda and the rest of the gang have nothin' in the world to care about and I have my plate full. To see them running around with their girls and I have no one. It just ain't fair. And there ain't no way to break it. If I quit working than you and Soda go to a boys home. Then everything would really be lost. Sometimes I feel like you guys are leavin' me. I try so hard to keep us a family. You spend more and more time with Johnny and Soda's either at work or with Steve. We're not as close as we used to be and -" He had begun to cry again only this time more quietly. I felt like someone had but me in a blender. This was how he felt. I felt a wave of guilt was over me. He was right. And I felt so damn guilty that I had never noticed. "I love you Darry." I told him, tears welling up in my eyes. He nodded vaguely as he stared at something on the wall. He sighed and fell back onto his pillow. In about a minute he had fallen into a restless sleep.

Johnny and I tiptoed quietly out of the room and shut the door. The minute we were out of there I stared bawling. "It's all my fault," I cried to Johnny. "I should have noticed this, but was too wrapped up in my own damn self!" Johnny put his hand on my shoulder. "Get a hold of yourself man," he said not unkindly. "Glory Pony, it ain't your fault and the last thing Darry needs is you blaming yourself, so just quit bawlin' and think. The guy's just tired and needs a break." This last statement was so bold that it startled me out of my little break down. I could have kicked myself. Johnny was right. And I thought I was the deep thinker of the gang. Why the hell was I such a baby when it came to these things? But I felt so bad for Darry. I had never expected this and didn't know what to make of the entire situation. My head was spinning. I finally got a hold of my feelings and then went to sit with Johnny and wait for Soda to come home.

**I wanted to something with Darry, he doesn't seem to get enough credit so...this it to you Darry...lol**

**tell me whatcha think by pressing that little go button **

**thanx**

**xoxox**


	2. Ch2

**Ch.2**

**I wasn't sure what to put ...so it might change....if there are any technical wrongs that don't go along with the book it isn't my fault...I haven't read it in a while because my library didn't have a single copy... how stupidly dumb is that ?!** **So sorry for any mistakes that I might make...lol.... o and thanx for the reviews!!! 3**

Soda came home in about an hour and a half. I told him part of the story but had to stop because that crazy wave of guilt came on again and Johnny had to fill him in with the rest. His usually dancing brown eyes were expressionless. They were blank. His face was getting paler as he listened too. He looked at me with an expression that anyone else would have mistaken for tiredness. But I knew him so well I knew what he was thinking. Sodapop, the king of everything you would ever want in a person, was hating himself inside. I was doing the same thing, but it was really hard to see it in someone like Sodapop. But I could tell, behind that, he just wanted Darry to know how much he was loved and didn't know how to...express it. It was really weird and I really didn't want to go through it. To tell the truth, I wanted to go back to the vicious cycle of normality, of nothing changing. I just wanted Darry to be all right, to know how much Soda and I cared even though we didn't always show it.

Soda slowly got up from his spot on the old couch between me and Johnny. He looked like he really wanted to be there for Darry but almost didn't know how...I felt the same way. Unfortunately. He started towards Darry's room slowly. Johnny and I watched him go. He paused at the door, took a deep breath and knocked quietly. When he didn't get a response, he opened the door and quietly slipped in. Johnny and I just sat there, waiting, staring.

About twenty seconds later, Soda came out white as a sheet and slightly shaking. His chocolate colored eyes were wide open with something I've never seen before in him. Johnny and I were getting scared.

"He ain't there." I felt a shock go right through my stomach. I stared at Soda, silently begging for him to be wrong, knowing he wasn't. "Pony, he ain't there. The room's empty. The kid ain't there!" He looked like he was going to cry. "Are you sure?" I managed to stutter getting more worried by the second. Johnny just looked on, but I could tell his brain was going ninety miles an hour. Soda almost glared at me. "The room ain't that big. If there wasn't anyone in it the minute I walked in, chances are the damn room is still empty," he said in a loud unnatural voice. I was getting scared. I could tell I wasn't thinking right, something was wrong with my brother Soda too. He wasn't acting right either. The only one who seemed to have his wits about him was Johnny. "We better go look for him. He was in pretty bad shape when we were with him," he told us. Soda nodded slowly and I just stared blankly. I was trying to think but there was something there that wasn't letting me. It was starting to annoy me.

The phone rang which broke us all out of our trances. At our house, the phone almost never rang, never. Soda looked at me with a funny look and left to go answer it. Johnny and I followed him. He picked it up."Hello? What? How bad? Do you got it under control? Ok, ok we'll come over. No, I'll be there." His face was a funny color and he couldn't hang up the phone. Johnny gently took it from him and placed it in the cradle. "Soda what is it?" I asked. "Who was that? What's going on?" I was getting that wave of fear and guilt again. He didn't answer or look at me. "Get in the car Ponyboy," was all he said. He headed silently for the door, his shoulders hunched over. "Cya Pony," Johnny timidly said as he headed to go home. I grabbed his arm. "You're coming too man," I commanded. He looked questioningly at me. I snatched my jacket off the couch and headed out to the car where Soda was blaring the horn for us to come out. I jumped into the front seat and Johnny, hesitantly took the back. I was dying to know where we were going but one look at Soda told me I was going to have to wait.

He was really pale and he was gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white. His soft brown eyes were staring straight ahead and they were dark with worry. It was beginning to get dusky as we headed down the road. I had no clue what was going on. I looked back at Johnny. He was glancing around, his midnight colored eyes questioning me. I shrugged at him and turned around. Something was up. I had no clue what but I had a feeling it was pretty serious. All I knew was Darry was gone, Soda was acting almost like Dally and we were going somewhere. To where though, I had no idea and it really scared me. Where the hell was Darry? This wasn't like him at all, not like anything he did today was, but still.....this really went too far. I turned and looked out the window. It was getting darker by the minute and I was getting really really worried about Darry as was Soda and Johnny. I sighed as we sped along the road. I had a feeling this was going to be a very long night.

**I don't know where I'm going with this..... I have a couple ideas.....please review and if u have any ideas...feel free to share them! **

**Thanx 3**

**xxx**


	3. Ch3

**Ch.3**

**whoop whoop....ch 3!!!!! yay!**

We pulled up at the hospital about ten minutes later. I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach as I got out of the car as slowly as possible. I looked up at the tall brick building with lights shining a yellow glow onto the outside world. I gulped. Soda slammed his doorshut and glanced over at me. "C'mon Pony." He motioned for me to follow him. I felt someone lightly tap my shoulder. "I'm gonna go call the rest of the gang ok?" Johnny was staring at me, his eyes, or what you could see of them, behind his dark hair, were full of worry. I guess I looked pretty bad because the next thing I knew Johnny was asking me if I needed help walking into the building. I shook my head and he left to go find a payphone. Soda had trudged ahead and I hurried to catch up. I couldn't believe he hadn't told me what was going on yet. This really wasn't like him. "You ok Soda?" I asked. He nodded. Boy, could I use a cigarette. I felt my pockets which were empty and didn't bother to ask Soda. He probably wouldn't have any anyways.

The cold night air bit into me through my thin jacket. I followed Soda into the lobby of the hospital. It smelled so strongly like laundry and antiseptic in there that it made me cough. So Darry was here. I really wanted to know what happened but Soda seemed locked inside himself. I think he had forgotten I was there. I spotted Johnny coming toward us and walked over to him. "Two-bit's not home and Steve and Dally are coming," he said to me. I nodded vaguely.

Soda went up to the desk and the receptionist, a skinny lady with thick reading glasses and frizzy gray hair directed us to the emergency room. "Two doors down that hall. Can't miss it, number 13" she said in a high pitched voice. Soda nodded his thanks and went where directed. I followed suit. He walked down the door and stopped at the designated door. I had had enough by now though. I needed to know what was going on. "Soda, what happened? You have to tell me or I ain't goin' in there." I pointed to the door. He looked at me like I was crazy. I could tell he didn't know he hadn't told me. He got down on one knee and held my arms at the elbows, almost like a father would do to a little kid. At any other time, it would have bothered me, but not now. He put his head down. When he finally looked up at me, his eyes were glistened over tears. He took a deep breath and shakily began to talk. "It's Darry," he stuttered. Well, I had figured that much out....duh.

"Well, after you and Johnny left, he went out the window to work. I guess he thought since it's a weekday he had to be there. And in the state he was in, it was inevitable something was going to happen. And something did. They're not sure what, but they found him unconscious under two things of roofing. I didn't get a chance to get all the details but he's in pretty bad shape. His arm... a compound fracture and....." He stopped because he had started to cry pretty hard now. His back shook with sobs and he bent his head down. I looked at the top of his shiny blonde head. And felt myself start to cry too. Johnny put his hand on my shoulder and gave me an everything is going to be ok look. Slowly Soda got up and looked at me. He had managed to stop crying although I didn't know how. I was bawling my eyes out. He put his arm around me and slowly led me towards the door. He slowly opened it, as if he expected someone to jump out at him from behind it. I was still crying. If Darry didn't make it...I would never forgive myself.

It was really dim inside that room. The walls were a funny yellow color and it smelled very strongly of that antiseptic soap and drugs. A strange humming noise was coming from a curtain around what I guess was Darry's bed. A nurse looked up as we came in. She flashed us a sympathetic smile and came over to greet us. Soda never looked at her, only asked if we could see Darry. She nodded but warned us. "He's in a coma. The doctor hasn't gotten his arm in a permanent..." She stopped when she saw the look on Soda's face. He was clutching my arm, staring at the curtain in a frightened way. I was still whimpering quietly. I was frightened too. I didn't want to see Darry like he was. I wanted that to be someone else behind that curtain. Why hadn't I been able to tell Darry how much I cared? Why was I always out with Johnny or hanging with Soda, never once thinking about him. Why had I acted to ungrateful? If it wasn't for Darry, I would be in a boys home and so would Soda. I felt so sad, guilty, scared...everything. Soda was taking it pretty badly too. He was holding me so tightly I could hardly breathe. The nurse picked up her chart and quietly walked out. Johnny was waiting by the door way.

Soda slowly let go of me and pushed back the curtain. He caught his breath and gave a little start. I almost screamed. Darry lay there but it looked nothing like him. His face was an almost gray color and one side was all swollen. He was hooked up to some kind of machine that was helping him breathe. His arm hung above him in a sling and the white cloth of the sling was red stained. Soda crept closer. He was whispering something I couldn't hear. But I didn't want to hear. I took one look at Darry and almost passed out. He was in _really_ bad shape.

I couldn't take it. I flew out of the room, and almost rammed into Johnny. I swerved to the side and ran blindly down the hall. My tears blurred my vision and I didn't care. The only thing on my mind was Darry. I vaguely heard the nurses yelling something about running not being aloud but I didn't listen. I sped out the hospital door into the cold night. I stopped at the curb and dropped down onto it. I buried my head in my arms and just let everything go. I can't ever remember crying this hard in my entire life. My thoughts ran freely in my mind and they all scared me. I finally looked up and dried my eyes. I was numb now. I was all cried out and couldn't cry anymore. I glanced around me. I saw some one coming towards the hospital; except for the lights coming from the hospital and an occasional car's headlights, there was nothing. I was so tired and the only thing that was in my head was the fact that Darry might not make it.

Johnny, was standing there leaning on a light pole, smoking and staring at me. I realized he had seen my whole break down. But I really didn't care. "You ok man? Glory I thought you were never going to stop crying. It was starting to make me want to cry too," he told me kindly. "You wanna light?" he asked. I nodded and he flicked one in my direction. I lit up and slowly inhaled. He sat down next to me and didn't say anything. I was grateful though because I really didn't want to talk. He put his hand on my shoulder and gave me the most compassionate and understanding look. I was glad for him being there for me. It made me realize how fortunate I was.

I don't know how long I was sitting there but the next thing I knew, Dally and Steve were walking toward me. For once, Steve eyes weren't dancing with some sarcastic remark and that silly grin was completely gone. He looked pretty sorry. Dally's hard blue eyes were softened and he looked at me with an almost sad expression. "How's Darry?" he asked me quietly. I shook my head. If I started talking, I knew I would cry. He nodded like he understood and went into the hospital with Steve right behind him. Johnny and I sat out there for a while longer but it was really getting cold. We finished off our cigarettes and headed inside too. I knew Soda was an emotional wreck and I wasn't in much better condition either. But as I walked down the hall to Darry's room, I prayed a silent prayer of desperation. If Darry left, my life would be over.

**I can't think of anything to say...hope u all like...thanx for the reviews and keep em' coming! xxx**


	4. ch4

**Ch.4**

**Whoop whoop.....sorry it took so long to update....things have been pretty crazy around here.....I've been at my barn almost every night right after school till 7:30....then hw...so I didn't get a chance to update....sry..... but here is some more....so I hope u all like.... lol **

**thanx so much for the reviews ....... 3 u all**

**xxx**

We went back in that night about 20 minutes after Dally and Steve. I trudged towards Dally's room, completely numb. I felt like I had been wrung out like a wash cloth. Johnny followed silently. I got to his door, and found Dally, Soda and Steve waiting outside. I stared blankly at them, not asking what they were doing, almost not caring. Steve was sitting on a bench out side of the room, close to Soda, whispering something to him. Soda kept shaking his head like he didn't want to hear what Steve had to say. Dally stood rather off to the side, his hands jammed in his pockets, looking down. A cigarette dangled from his mouth. He didn't look too happy either. I sat down on the other corner of the bench and Johnny leaned on the wall opposite to me. He looked tired too. The whole gang did actually. I just felt so empty, silently wishing I was someone else, somewhere else. "What's going on?" Johnny thankfully asked the question for me. Dally looked up, his icy cold eyes, almost softened. "Doc's checkin' him out. He don't know if he'll need surgery or not. But I'm thinkin' that this ain't gonna be pretty, surgery or not." I felt the blood drain from my face. Dally looked over at me and I saw by his look that he wished he hadn't said what he had. "I'm sorry kid," he said softly. "You ok?" I didn't respond. I didn't want people's comfort at the moment. I wanted to run, scream and cry; I wanted to yell my feelings out to the world, to let it all go. My world was falling apart right before me and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

**Grrrrrrrr my mom's calling me to do dishes...sry this is so short....will think of other stufff while doing dishes!!!! yay....not..if you have any ideas, feel free to tell me...lol**

**xxx**


	5. Ch 5dun dun dun

**Ch.4**

**Whoop whoop.....sorry it took so long to update....things have been pretty crazy around here.....I've been at my barn almost every night right after school till 7:30....then hw...so I didn't get a chance to update....sry..... but here is some more....so I hope u all like.... lol **

**thanx so much for the reviews ....... 3 u all**

**xxx**

We went back in that night about 20 minutes after Dally and Steve. I trudged towards Dally's room, completely numb. I felt like I had been wrung out like a wash cloth. Johnny followed silently. I got to his door, and found Dally, Soda and Steve waiting outside. I stared blankly at them, not asking what they were doing, almost not caring. Steve was sitting on a bench out side of the room, close to Soda, whispering something to him. Soda kept shaking his head like he didn't want to hear what Steve had to say. Dally stood rather off to the side, his hands jammed in his pockets, looking down. A cigarette dangled from his mouth. He didn't look too happy either. I sat down on the other corner of the bench and Johnny leaned on the wall opposite to me. He looked tired too. The whole gang did actually. I just felt so empty, silently wishing I was someone else, somewhere else. "What's going on?" Johnny thankfully asked the question for me. Dally looked up, his icy cold eyes, almost softened. "Doc's checkin' him out. He don't know if he'll need surgery or not. But I'm thinkin' that this ain't gonna be pretty, surgery or not." I felt the blood drain from my face. Dally looked over at me and I saw by his look that he wished he hadn't said what he had. "I'm sorry kid," he said softly. "You ok?" I didn't respond. I didn't want people's comfort at the moment. I wanted to run, scream and cry; I wanted to yell my feelings out to the world, to let it all go. My world was falling apart right before me and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

I finally got a hold of myself, well sorta, when the doctor came out. He was this old fat guy, with thick rimmed black glasses, that looked like he had seen too many things in his life. Soda looked up when he addressed us all. He didn't look too happy. "You fellas all related to this kid?" he asked us. Neither Soda or I responded. Dally jerked his thumb toward us. "Those two are," he said. "The rest of us are just here for moral support." He sounded too sarcastic on that last statement, but the doctor didn't seem to notice. I almost smiled at that comment though. You had to be a pretty big mess to rely on Dallas Winston for moral anything.

The doctor stood facing all of us and took a deep breath. He scowled at Dally, Johnny and I for smoking, but didn't seem like he was going to tell us to knock it off. It wouldn't have had any effect anyways. "You all know your brother -er- friend is in pretty bad shape," he said. Dally rolled his eyes and told the guy to get on with it. Dally wasn't in the best of moods and wanted to know what was going on. The doctor continued. "It seems that he passed out while carrying a pretty heavy bunch of stuff. He landed on his arm and fractured it pretty badly. Since it was a compound fracture he lost a lot of blood. It's in pretty bad shape and he might never regain full use of it again." He paused. I heard Soda let out what sounded like a quiet scream almost, and I almost fell out of the bench. If that was the case.....than we were in big trouble. Dally took the news pretty badly too. He jammed his hands back into his pockets so hard, the knuckles turned white. Johnny looked whiter than I've ever seen him, and Steve looked like he had heard enough. We all had, but apparently the doctor had more to say.

"On a better note, it looks like he'll make it. But he'll have to go through some pretty....serious surgery. The way he fell, he broke a rib, and it punctured his lung. He was barely breathing when we got to him, and that why he's on a respirator now. But he has a pretty good chance of living. He's a strong guy, people like him, usually pull through stuff like this," he told us quickly. I nodded and sighed from relief. Soda looked a little happier and the rest of the gang seemed to relax, a little. "But don't get you're hopes up too high." That stupid doctors voice broke through my little happy reverie. "We still don't know for sure...the poor kids got a lot ahead of him." I groaned. Did he absolutely need to tell us that? We all knew that deep inside but we all wanted to stay on the optimistic side. I knew that if I didn't I would go insane. I guess the guy just wanted to say it for legal reasons, but glory, did we look like the kind of people to sue him? I was tired, really tired. Soda slid over next to me and held me. I hugged him back, and we stayed like that for who knows how long. I could tell he had forgotten the rest of the gang was there and I had too. This was a brother moment, both of us grieving over the part of us that was lying half dead in that room. Darry. I felt my self drift off, head full of worries, but glad for my best friend, my other half, my brother Soda.

**Here's some more dudes.......hope its satisfactory..this does seem a little....uh...depressing, but hey..things have to get worse before they get better...........**

**Thanx for all of the review...and while ur waiting for the dramatic update.... read my other story..((only if u want.... :) clik there..............lol**


	6. ch 6

**Ch.5 **

**Thank You so much for the reviews guys!!!!!! they really help. But its kinda confusing now...some have said this is depressing, others said its not...just great because its sad.......NOW I"M CONFUSED!!!! AAAAA lol ...jk....so yea..now I'll please everyone by putting a happy shocker that might be a little unrealistic and out of line from the book but w/e..... hope u all enjoy...thank you all so much!!!!**

Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever want to run away? Do you want to be somebody else?** (Took that from a Simple plan song...just had to put that so I wouldn't get sued for putting in something that wasn't mine....lol) **

That's what I feel like. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever gone through next to the death of my parents. I still miss them incredibly. People think that by this age, boys have gotten over needing their mothers, but I need mine more than ever. I guess you could say I was a bit of a momma's boy but hell, if you had a mother as great as mine, you would be too. Actually, she was sorta everyone in the gangs mother and everyone loved her. I never told anyone this. Darry took the place of our parents and now he was almost in the same position as them and I felt like I was going to die just because of my emotional state.

But Soda is taking this the worst. I woke up on that cold hospital bench alone in that hallway. I guessed that Dally, and Steve had left sometime last night. No doubt they would be back soon. The place was oddly quiet, with the exception of monitors beeping, an occasional footstep in the hall and the soft talking of a doctor giving orders to a nurse. I had no clue where Soda was, I knew he hadn't left. I slowly got up and sat right back down. Its kinda hard to sleep on a plank of wood and wake up loose and limber. I slowly got up again, smoothed my crinkled t-shirt and wandered around to find a bathroom.

On my way back, being the wonderfully coordinated person I am, I bumped into this thin blonde girl. She had a nervous look to her, and clutched her purse like someone was going to take it from her or something. I wasn't paying attention to the outside world, but then again, I usually never did too much. Darry always did say that I never used my head and was always a little flighty. I was a tad embarrassed, but she laughed lightly but shakily. I recognized that laugh, I don't know why though. I sheepishly apologized, hitching my thumbs into my pockets, and slouching. It's a habit I have. She smiled softly and murmured something I couldn't hear. Glory, she looked familiar. Damn, I hate when I can't remember things like this. We were both standing there in the hall, an awkward silence coming over us. I started to fidget, and she stared into space. I was getting a little uncomfortable, and turned to walk away. "Wait!" A soft voice stopped me. "I couldn't help but think that I've seen you before. You look like my boyfriend- well, used to be boyfriend's kid brother, Ponyboy. You are him, right......" It hit me then. This was Sandy! I couldn't believe it. She looked so... different. Not a bad different...just not the same.

"...I heard that the oldest one was sick or something and I was in the area so I decided to come for moral support." I stared at her. I hadn't caught most of what she said. "So you were Soda's girl huh?" That was a really bright thing to say. I made it sound like Soda liked her and then just forgot her when she moved away. No, Soda loved her. For weeks after she left, I heard him cry at night, quietly, but I knew what he was going through. Wait till he found out she was here, he would be ecstatic...or would he?

She looked at me and gave me a halfway grin. "Yea, I was. Damn, I liked that kid. We were like one person, me and him. When I was with him, it was like having your own personal movie star with you or something. He was always smiling, and when he was with me..... I didn't want to leave. I really didn't. I wanted to marry him the second he asked, even if I had to elope. But you should have seen the hell that was raised in my house when my old man found out. It scared me and I went along with it. I know I was a coward, but what could I do? The only reason I made it seem like I didn't care was because I didn't know how to deal with the pain. I thought that if I pretended like I didn't care, then maybe it would hurt less. I do that sometimes, I lie to myself....but I never believe me. Damn..." Her voice choked up and she turned away, her sea blue eyes clouded over. My eyes were round and I was a little surprised. Why was she telling me all this? I could tell she was crying but it was hard to tell. But if Soda was just upstairs, then why was she talking to me like this? "Uhh, you wanna go see Sodapop now?" I asked quietly. I didn't know what to say to girls ever, let alone when they were like this. She nodded and I told her to follow me.

I made my way down the long gray corridor towards the stairs. The place was starting to come alive with the usual hustle of a hospital and I was in a hurry. I ran up the stairs, and I realized how this would help Soda through Darry's...trouble. I sped up with each thought and I think sandy was a little confused at my behavior. I came to the next floor, and barely managed to walk. I was excited. I wanted to see Soda happy again. I knew how much Sandy meant to him.

I turned a corner and came to the hall Darry's room was on. I spotted Soda on that evil bench with Steve sitting next to him and Dally standing nearby smoking. He turned as he heard me-us coming. He looked, turned and then took a double take and his eyes got wide. He knew who the girl walking behind me was. By this time I was almost where they were. I saw him tug on soda's arm and motion for him to look up. Dally pointed in my direction and said something. Soda barely looked up then caught himself. His eyes got wide too and he whispered something. We were standing in front of him now. "Sandy?" I could barely hear him say. He jumped up and stood in shock in front of her, staring. I quickly moved aside next to Dally. I didn't want to interrupt this. I looked at Dally and he gave me one of his rare grins. Even Steve was smiling. "Soda." Neither one of them seemed to believe that the other was really standing in front of them. "Soda!" she almost screamed his name and ran into him. He grabbed her and buried his face in her shoulder. His arms were wrapped around her to the point where they almost enveloped her completely. He was crying. Sodapop was crying.

Even though his face was lost somewhere in Sandy's shoulder, his back was racking with sobs. She was crying too. Dally and I looked at each other and he nudged me. "That'll be you in a few more years kid," he hissed in my ear. I shoved him away, not thinking. You don't go shoving Dallas Winston around for no good reason. But he didn't seem to mind. (Fortunately for me) I saw something flicker behind his eyes, as he watched Soda and Sandy's....reunion and for the first time in my life, I felt bad for him. He had never been loved. He didn't know what it was like to be hugged, to be missed or wanted. All he knew was hate. Dallas Winston was the way he was because of this and I felt almost guilty. I went around thinking my life was bad, but at least had someone to go to when things got bad -he had no one. He went around parading like he didn't care, but I saw the subtle look on his face as he watched my brother and his girl. I was overall happy- happy as I could be in a time like this. My oldest brother was horribly sick and my other brother's dream had just come true. I was happy, sad, worried, everythi8ng and it was driving me crazy. But things were getting better. And I was grateful.

**The end of chappie 5...what will happen next...dun dun dun....lol tell me what u tink...sry anna....I had to put the little love scene with Soda and sandy...u can just replace her name wit urs...lol jk...ur the best **


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